Wednesday, December 5, 2007


This is my story I wrote in ELA workshop.

The alarm never rang. As Hedeki’s tired eyes crept open, they read the lights that beamed out of the box on the top shelf. 7:08… 7:09… 7:10. Those minutes were ticking away. Hedeki ignored the time and sunk deeper into his comforters. They were too warm, too comfortable to leave. They loved him and he loved them, how could anyone leave something they loved so much? His pillow surely loved him too. It calmed him as he slept and blocked the sun’s blinding rays. He definitely couldn’t leave that either.
“Wake up; wake up” said a distant, familiar voice, “you’re already late as it is.” Firm hands shook him and he slowly broke away from his slumber. He drifted away from his precious dream and started coming into the real world.
“Fine,” said the voice again, “I’ll just have to tell dad.” The voice left the room and ventured downstairs
No. Hedeki couldn’t let his dad know, not after last time anyway. He rolled out of his bed and ignored all that his bed was trying to tell him. They would not be able to persuade him anymore. 7:15. He still had a chance to make the bus, not a big one, but still a possibility. His feet stumbled as he attempted to get out of his room. Through the hallway he raced trying to escape his dad’s monster inside of him. When his dad was angry, the whole world seemed to sink in to shame. He tripped over him self as he tried to get down the staircase. The rough wood on the railing scraped his hand and blistered them. Already this was beginning to be a bad day.
His feet slid on kitchen floor causing him to lose his balance and land flat on his face. He tried to wince away the pain but it was still hard. Lucy, who was sitting at the table, saw it all. It would be like her to say something insulting to say at the moment.
“Boy, the kids at school are right, you are a nerd.” She pushed her long, blond locks of hair behind her and left him there alone. No help, no kind words, nothing. He wanted to chase her away but something stopped him. There was no time for that. For now he had to get ready for school. Looking up, he noticed the kitchen clock. 7:17. If there was a world record on quickest time took while getting dressed he was sure to get it. Stuffing an oatmeal bar in his mouth he headed into the bathroom.
He combed his hair in what seemed less then a second. He could still see the bed head but he didn’t care. Back up stairs he went, brushing his teeth as he ran. Slipping on his white tee shirt, he got dressed quicker than a cheetah and before you knew it he was running through the doorway with the door slamming behind him.
As he ran outside he saw the bus pulling away from his driveway. He tried to stop it, but it was too late. It left him there standing there alone on his driveway. Then the idea struck him. Tina! He raced into his garage, and searched for Tina. Her shiny pedals and blue rims were sure to stand out in the garage. She was the fastest and the finest, surely he would be able to find her. After a while it seemed the more time he spent searching the less likely he was to find her. He needed her though. It was then that he remembered. He had lent it out to Sanjaya a little less than a month ago. Worried that he would never make it to school, he set out for school on foot.

When he finally got to school, the warning bell had already rung. He hurried to his locker and pulled out two math binders and his agenda. Closing his locker, which almost slammed his fingers in, he headed for homeroom. Nobody noticed him come in to the room and he was thankful too. He couldn’t afford to be late again. He pulled out the chair and sat down next to his best friend Sanjaya.
“Late again?” asked Sanjaya.
“Yeah,” answered Hedeki, ashamed of his actions.
“That’s the third time this week.”
“I know, I know,” Hedeki muttered “It’s just I couldn’t ride Tina because you barrowed her. I would really like her back.”
“You know, my bike.”
“Yeah, I know your who it is, it’s just I don’t have her right now. I thought she was with you.”
“Are you sure?” Hedeki questioned. He was sure he loaned his bike to him.
“Of course I’m sure. Maybe you just think you lent it to me.” Sanjaya insisted, “Oh by the way, we won the football game twenty seven to fourteen. I’m really mad that you couldn’t have come” It seemed as if he was quick to change the subject.
“I’m mad too.” Hedeki agreed “Parents are so lame.”
The conversation continued but no matter what they were talking about Hedeki kept thinking about the bike. He was sure he had loaned it to him but he wanted so bad to trust Sanjaya. After all, they had been friends since first grade. This friendship couldn’t be broken up now.
Over the years, both of the friends had noticed that they weren’t exactly alike. Sanjaya loved football when Hedeki couldn’t catch anything coming at him. Sanjaya loved music when Hedeki would rather read a book. Sanjaya had a hard time with his grades when Hedeki found it easy. The list went on and on. The only thing they could think of that similar between the two was the looked almost exactly alike. Both had brown hair and hazel eyes and the height 5 feet, 2 inches. A lot of times they could even trick people who didn’t know them all that well.
Once the bell rang, it was time for their next class. Science! There was no class he abominated more. Mr. Charleson was the meanest teacher ever. Some kids even told rumors that he made his kids eat bugs once and he was actually cursed. Hardly anyone passed his class. You were lucky if you had a seventy average which thankfully was what Hedeki had.
When Hedeki got there, Mr. Charleson was sure to point out that Hedeki was thirty seconds late and that he was wasting everyone’s time. He didn’t say anything and sat down at his desk. Today unfortunately, was the day in which Mr. Charleson passed back tests from the day before. This kind of day was seeming to become more frequent. A big paper landed in front of him. The number seventy was written with an extremely bold font. A repulsive looking unsmiley face was drawn next to it. It mocked him and taunted him in his moment of plunder.
“Perhaps a little more effort next time.” Mr. Charleson rudely commented. Hedeki loathed him so much. He felt like punching him hard and showing him justice but his harness held him back.
It turned out that Hedeki actually had the highest grade in the class. That was typical of Mr. Charleson. The class turned out to be the same as usual. More lectures about how much more effort the class needed to put into its work. Could this day get any worse?

The day never seemed to get better. Everything that could have possibly gone wrong did. Everything from dropping books in the hallway to getting picked on by the bully in the school, Hubert, but no matter what happened, Hedeki couldn’t stop thinking about Tina. He was certain he leant it to him. When the final bell rang, it came as a relief. He could finally be free. Free from all the pain of school.
When he got home his mom, who he forgot to say hello to, was cooking something on the stove. He dropped his backpack on the ground and went into the living room. Flopping himself on the coach he stared at the ceiling looking very depressed. How he wished he could wake up and find out it was all just a horrible nightmare with his mother right beside him comforting him back to sleep.
“I know it’s a little much to ask,” he heard his mom say; something bad was coming, “but can you come with us when we go shopping for Lucy. I figured I buy you some new clothes.” It was then that Hedeki realized that it could get worse. He hated shopping for clothing. It was so dreary. He had to force himself into the car. Why today, of all days. Park Street. They were almost there. His life was about to be over.
“Isn’t that Sanjaya?” Lucy exclaimed.
It was. It was his best friend riding Tina. Sanjaya raced past the family Ferrari on the bike and disappeared behind two bushes. Hedeki’s best friend had lied to him, stole from him and worst of all he had betrayed him. It was at that moment that all Hedeki’s trust for Sanjaya had gone down the drain.
Hedeki groaned and sunk in his seat. Inside he cried. Why? was what he kept asking himself. This day had been the worst day ever. Everything that could have possibly gone wrong had and now his friend had betrayed him.
When they were done with their shopping, he went strait to bed. He wanted to start completely fresh. Before long he had sunk deep into sleep surrounded by his dreams.

He was standing outside when he saw Sanjaya confront him. He was irritated and angry.
“It’s not my fault!” he yelled. His face was completely red and hair was so messed up that it looked like he had just rolled bed. Hedeki tried to tell him that he was sorry for being so hard on him but instead of a forgiving salutation a fist meant Hedeki’s face. He fell to the ground.

He jumped up. 6:38. It was still dark out but why not get ready early. That way he surely wouldn’t be late for school. His parents turned out to be extremely surprised to see him up so early and it turn out he was finally on time for school but no matter how good of a morning it was he couldn’t stop thinking about Tina. He tried to forget and forgive him but it was too hard. He had to confront him but he didn’t want to talk to him quite yet so instead he just stayed out of Sanjaya’s way. When the day was over, it was time. He found Sanjaya outside waiting for his bus to pull in.
“I have to talk to you.” He said trying to be brave.
“Hey if it’s about the football game, just let it go.” Sanjaya replied, not completely understanding about what Hedeki was saying.
“No, it’s not that. It’s just” he paused hesitant about what he was about to say. “I saw you riding Tina last night!”
“What are you talking about?” Sanjaya asked. Hedeki could see that he was sweating. How could he lie to him?
“Don’t lie to me, Sanjaya! I know I saw you riding it!” He had tried to say it softly but it came out harsh.
“I… I… Okay, Okay, I had your bike it’s just…” Sanjaya stuttered as he talked. “I didn’t think it was fair.’
“You didn’t think it was fair?” Hedeki questioned. Where was he going with this?
“I didn’t think it was fair that you had a great bike and I didn’t.” He paused in suspension, “I’ll just get strait to the point. Don’t even ask for me to give it back because I can’t.”
“You can’t?” His face was filled with horror.
“I can’t because it’s broken. You don’t even have to ask. I left it out in the parking lot when I went to the park and a red mustang hit it. It’s completely crushed” Hedeki was shocked.
“Are you serious!!!?” Hedeki screamed. Almost everyone was looking at them now.
“It’s not my fault!!!” Sanjaya yelled, his face as red as a cherry.
It was then that Hedeki realized that he had gone too far. All his friend wanted, was forgiveness. Instead Hedeki was making him feel worse.
“Look I’m sorry for what…” Hedeki started to say but Sanjaya’s cold fist hit him hard in the face, knocking him to the ground. Blood was trickling out from underneath his eye. Sanjaya now was shocked at what he’d just done. Anger had won a battle. It had token control of them. They were it slaves now.
Hedeki rose back to his feet. They were even now. Just then the worst person possible walked by. Hedeki didn’t want to know what was going to happen next. It was Mr. Charleson.
“Glad to see you worked it out boys.” He commented in an almost mocking voice.
“Thanks.” Hedeki muttered softly as Mr. Charleson hopped in his scarlet, dented mustang.
“See you tomorrow boys.” He said.
“Wait!” Sanjaya called.
“Yes.” Mr. Charleson stopped what he was doing.
“How’d you get the dent in your new car?”
“Oh it’s nothing. Just a little incident I had at the park last night.” He said and he was gone leaving the boys there alone. Sanjaya was the first to talk.
“I’ll help you buy a new bike.” Sanjaya said, “We can name her Sophia.’
“Okay.” Hedeki replied “Thanks”
Maybe Mr. Charles wasn’t what everyone made him out to be. Maybe he was really just a kind man. Hedeki was thankful for his healing words. He had a feeling that life would go back to normal again. Everything would be just fine.


Mellimouse said...

Good story!!! Intersesting names of charecters, lol :-). Good detail.
You and I ended the story the same kind of way! With the "just fine" thing.

thegreatmichael said...

Good story!

"...a red mustang hit it. It's completely crushed..."

I don't think I could have written a better one.

thegreatmichael said...

I've also experienced my share of horribly mean teachers. Like Mrs. Cook. Don't even ask.

Rachel said...

Now write another one.

Do you think I should have written all those in one comment?

Rachel said...

That last comment was from thegreatmichael, not me.

Very good story, Allan! You are a great writer!

Priscilla said...

You are a good writer. I enjoyed the story. But I'm not sure what "kind words" Mr. Charlston said at the end. What were they?